In which I visit the sea, have a pointless night out, and reflect upon my place in this world.

I have loads to say about teaching and being a waygook in a Korean middle school but for the sake of keeping this blog current, I will save those thoughts for another post.

I haven't seen Soo since Chuseok because of her work schedule.  I have, however, become close with a few of my colleagues.  Three of the other teachers, (Math, Economics, and History), have reached out to me; I now have people to sit with at lunch and brush teeth with afterwards.  On Saturday, the three of them brought me to the seaside for the day. 

M and H both brought their sons along for the trip so I got some quality time with two very adorable Korean children.  (These toddlers can speak better English than I can speak Korean!).  E drove and we bonded over our shared eclectic taste in English-language music. 

When we reached the seaside, E bought everyone something to drink at a little cafe before we started our long walk to find a playground for the boys, and then to the most scenic spot on the water.

Later in the afternoon, we went out for 샤브샤브 (shabu-shabu, a heavenly food medley cooked over a boiling pot right at the table) and indulged in a  copious amount of girl talk as we ate.  Although age hierarchy is important in Korea and I am 10-15 years younger than M, H, and E, I don't at all feel judged by my age.  It's refreshing.

That evening I felt restless.  It had been a perfect day out but I didn't want to while away the evening at home in Daun-dong, especially because I had already finished the K-Drama 풀하우스 (Full House) and still don't have TV or internet access in my flat.  It was Saturday night, after all.  I decided to take a bus to Samsan-dong and hope fate would bring me somewhere interesting (or that I'd at least be able to find one of the bars Kaela mentioned to me).  Unfortunately, my whim didn't pan out the way I anticipated.  I ended up wandering the streets by UpSquare, feeling conspicuous as the only waygook in sight and feeling incredibly sorry for myself.  Then I felt guilty for being bored and unhappy which just made me more unhappy and more sorry for myself.  Quite a vicious cycle.  It was late enough in the evening to call home so I vented my sad little tale for 15¢/minute, all the while hoping something, anything would happen to bring me somewhere worth being.  (Where are the "It's-nice-to-meet-you" conversation starting guys when you actually want to have a conversation?!).

Eventually, I wound up buying orange juice and using the wifi in a cafe before calling it a night.  When I went to catch a bus back to Daun-dong, I discovered that buses stop running before midnight and I was compelled to pay for a 12,000 won taxi-ride home... *sigh*   

If I learned anything from my otherwise pointless night out, I learned that I am very much still finding my place in the new world I have chosen to make my home.  There will be moments of loneliness and moments of feeling clueless and existential crises when I doubt my choice to relocate my life 6000 miles away from where I was born and raised.  But what I do know in the core of my being, even in momentary unhappiness, is that I am happier and freer in Korea than I have been in years, and this knowledge makes every struggle I experience here worth experiencing. 

I woke up on Sunday feeling a little better than I had the night before.  I had a text from Kaela saying she'd be at the International Church service at noon and inviting me to come.  It's a very friendly, diverse environment and located conveniently close to my flat.  After church I went out with Kaela, Rudy, and their friend C to Mugeo-dong for food and much-needed waygook camraderie.  I haven't been able to laugh like that since EPIK orientation; I was completely healed of my melancholy spell from the previous evening. 

Spending time with both Korean and waygook friends this weekend showed me that I am not alone in Ulsan and reinforced my conviction that this is where I should be.  After all, where else in the world can I feel no shame for wearing a giant pink bow on my head?